W22 - The sense of an ending

Let me first apologize for not updating this blog for the past 3 weeks. I was busy finalising our service design project, traveling to Primavera back and forth, meeting up new acquaintances and saying goodbye to old fellows in UID bubble. I tried once to write a post though but unfortunately squarespace crushed again. It's not always safe and reliable to place your second brain else where, especially in cyberspace.

After wandering around in the town, dining out and running into friends, booking flights to Berlin and back home, eventually I could settle myself and start to clean up my brain. Plus, with the retrograde of Mercury, now we arrived at the best time for reflection of the year.

As I said, I cannot promise that I will be back on time. Promise is a serious business because it gives others hope and anticipation. Thus I never promise anything that I will later regret, even with the tiniest possibility. I hate lies and lies only serve for comforting reasons. 

But this doesn't mean that I will forget about this year. I don't think I'm even capable of. I'm now carrying the thoughts, quotes, personalities and values of the people I met here and this is how friendships stay with me. It's fantastic to see how people resonates and bounces ideas back here. Together we learn, eat, drink, panic, celebrate and grow. I've been told several times that I changed a lot. What I appreciate is that I'm not only transforming into a professional designer, but I'm shaping myself to a better person from another scope. I know I'm on the right track. Sometimes I'm not 100% sure about the future, but who does. 

And vice versa, I'm trying not to be a greedy person and not to argue for anything special just in memory of me. I've been reflecting on the concept of heaviness and lightness by Milan Kundera (this is not my favourite book of him though) and kept being fascinated by living as light as a piece of feather. It's dangerous for a person to start to care, to come up with beautiful analogies of what happened to him, because they will give birth to love, and he will lose his courage to change, to move on, to follow his heart, to say whatever he thinks is right and honest. 

Thus I tried not to care too much about the separation. Finally I found and picked up my courage and my tiny little piece of confidence. I shall not let them go. I still need to explore myself and know myself, on my own, and I cannot wait to meet her - me, in the future.

I was reading Julian Barnes's book <The sense of an ending> on both the train rides to Abisko and back. Perhaps I should spend more time on design books, but the problem is that the chance of a "woo" moment in a design book is becoming smaller and smaller since I'm so immersed in the context. For the sake of refreshment, I'm always wasting my time in reading these irrelevant books.

I promise I will update some quotes from the book and then you can decide whether this is a book worth reading.

And I have tons tons tons of pictures of Primavera, our Abisko final presentation, the thesis presentation and exhibition, graduation party. I will keep them for myself since I know that I don't need an extra storage room as a reminder.

I really have no idea what I'm doing every time we take a class picture. Sorry, I lost my ability to behave normally in front of a camera because it's intimidating.

BTW if you want to find out the inspiration of my new haircut, check <ghost world>. And that's why I said it's still too long. And cheers for our diligent photographer Kevin who kept annoying me with his RX1. Zeiss colour is gorgeous.